


a dudebro for life, homie

by nolongervoid



Series: 12 Days of Ramenzo [1]
Category: BoBoiBoy (Cartoon)
Genre: :P, Christmas, Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, also pirate bud is called patrick here, bc - Freeform, lookit me tagging properly for once aha, this was a mistake, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolongervoid/pseuds/nolongervoid
Summary: Kaizo needs Ramen to pretend to be his fiance for a party that his ex will be attending
Relationships: Kaizo/Ramenman (BoBoiBoy)
Series: 12 Days of Ramenzo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053443
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> pls look at this [very sekc cover](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/697640705417543700/784489384959279114/12_Days_of_Ramenzo.png) @floffybunbutt made for this fic i love it sm

He must be seeing things.

He’s got to be hallucinating, because there is no way that his phone is ringing and the number on the screen as it vibrates is Kaizo’s. Not in a million years.

Ramen tries not to sound giddy when he answers because really this must be some very bizarre alternate reality in which Kaizo is calling his number, but no, sure enough, the voice on the other end of the line is unmistakable.

“...Greetings.”

“I was going to ask if you seriously just said  _ ‘greetings’  _ out loud like in real life but I’m pretty sure I’m in some fever dream right now anyway so what brings you to my phone line, may I ask?”

There’s a pause, and Ramen wouldn’t blame Kaizo for being overwhelmed by his verbosity.

“Uh-”

“Oh, no, by all means, go ahead and explain why for the first time in literally ever you called me instead of the other way round. If I didn’t know better I’d consider the possibility that you didn’t even know how to call someone on the phone, but I’ve seen you talking to your brother, so-”

“Jeez, you never shut up, do you,” Kaizo sounds tired but not quite annoyed.

“Interrupt me, then,” Ramen dares, “but please, do tell.”

There’s a sigh, and the next words are muffled.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that,” Ramen says.

There’s a longer, more exasperated sigh, and Kaizo speaks up.

“I need your help for something…”

Ramen lowers the phone for a moment to pinch his arm. It leaves a red welt and he winces, massaging the spot, and shaking his head before bringing the phone back to his ear.

“Just had to make sure I wasn’t in a coma. Repeat that?”

“ _ Jesus christ, _ you know what I think I’m better off trying-”

“No, I’m listening,” Ramen stops him. “Go on.”

“Ineedyoutopretendwerengagedcausetherespartynmyexisgonbethere,” Kaizo says quickly.

Ramen struggles to process for a moment. “What?”

Kaizo groans audibly. “Goddammit, why is this-”

“Something, something,  _ engaged? _ ” Ramen frowns, straining.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Kaizo mumbles weakly. “I have to come to this party next weekend and PB is gonna be there so pretend you’re my fiance?”

“PB?”

“ _ My ex _ ,” and Ramen can hear him roll his eyes. “Don’t make me say his name now.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t,” the blond relents. “Fiance is a bit much, hm? What if we were just, y’know, friends-with-benefits?”

The pause on the other end is a bit too long to not be suspicious.

“What?”

“N-nothing,” Kaizo says. “I mean, friends-with-benefits is still gonna raise some suspicion, just cause of history and stuff…” His voice fades and Ramen shrugs.

“Okay, so do you want me to propose at the party, or-”

“NO,” Kaizo blurts, then backs down. “I mean, no, just like, I don’t know, uh, rings?”

His voice sounds doubtful, as if he’s starting to realize how silly this whole scheme sounds. Not that Ramen’s ever shied away from nonsensical shenanigans, but one of Kaizo’s own suggestion? Now that’s a first.

“So, uh, what’s our story?” Ramen tries to help.

“...uh.”

“Hey, we have time to brainstorm.” The blond leans back and relaxes, kicking his legs up. “Just give me the basic rundown so we’re both on the same page unless you want me making stuff up on the spot later on.”

-

Kaizo swallows, thinking to himself for the nth time that this was a grand mistake. First with the story:

“How’d we meet, anyway?”

“I dunno, ran into you at the supermarket or something-”

“No, not how we actually met. It has to be something more romantic, something that’ll make him really  _ feel _ the difference between your experiences- ooh, how about I was comforting you after the breakup-”

“That won’t work because I’m the one who dumped him,” Kaizo said flatly. “It doesn’t  _ have _ to be romantic-”

“But why not,” Ramen insisted. “If it’s all made-up anyway, why not take advantage.  _ Manifest our best life _ .”

Kaizo tried not to flush at “our” and shook his head in exasperation.

“Why don’t  _ you _ do the bullshitting, and I’ll just go along with it,” Kaizo offered.

Instead of noting the obvious “to avoid future confusion” excuse, Ramen’s eyes lit up.

“That’s  _ genius-  _ I took the initiative and you just ended up following my lead and falling hopelessly in love in the process!”

Kaizo spluttered and only just barely kept “is this fiction or is this reality?” from slipping off his tongue. His cheeks darkened by about three shades of pink.

“It goes along with your personality too,” Ramen went on unconcernedly. “After all, who could resist a face like this?”

He turned and winked and Kaizo facepalmed to hide his flushed cheeks. Also to avoid looking at Ramen directly because  _ god _ , was that look  _ fatal. _

The flirtatious expression disappeared but the cheeky grin was still there and Kaizo quite wished they’d done this over the phone instead. Unfortunately, some things required his physical presence and finding outfits was one of them. Speaking of:

Kaizo knew Ramen was  _ hot. _ He didn’t need to see random girls giving him double takes when they passed them in the mall, he had the privilege of being rather familiar with the firm 8-pack underneath (visually, anyway) and he was all-too-aware of Ramen’s incredibly eligible bachelor status. And yet the blond had never dated, not seriously anyway. It made for some serious confusion and dilemma on Kaizo’s end, but, if nothing else, he was an exceptional actor.

That being said, Ramen in a trimmed suit, even before it was tailored to his figure, was an out-of-body experience. Kaizo metaphorically ascended and physically lost his breath when the sales attendant asked him to give the blond a once-over in that classy maroon jacket. Kaizo hated maroon, but it somehow suited Ramen? Did everything in this universe just magically bow its head and reform itself to the other’s convenience?

Kaizo shook his head and gave a curt “it’ll do” of approval, which is Kaizo-speak for  _ “god that’s so sexy I wanna take a 360 degree picture and buy a virtual reality headset so I can stare at it 24/7” _ .

Ramen got the message, though.

Kaizo spent a while deciding if he wanted to go in a suit or a dress. Ramen joked he should go in his jeans, and Kaizo very honestly considered if only for the value of sheer scandalousness of showing up at a high life event with a plus-one dressed to the nines while he himself was in faded blue jeans deliberately ripped at the thighs and accidentally torn at the knees. A bonus point for his ex’s reaction.

It wouldn’t earn him great praise from his boss, though, so Kaizo reluctantly abandoned the idea.

-

Kaizo ended up going for a velvety blue V-neck and the most obscenely glittery white pants he could find in the store. The micro-sequins glittered at every angle like snowflakes, and with the sparkling drop earrings that hung down to his shoulders, he would grab every bit as much attention as his date, er,  _ fiance _ , if only via sheer blinding factor.

“The idea is, if they’re gonna look at me, at least they shouldn’t be able to see after,” Kaizo explained.

Ramen stared. “What about me?”

“What about you?”

“What if I want to look at you?”

Kaizo flushed slightly, but shook his head. “C’mon, it’s not that bad. I was joking, I always look amazing anyway.” He flashed a dazzling smile to illustrate his point and Ramen grinned appreciatively.

“We’ll be the best-looking ones there, hands down,” Ramen nodded. “I do pity their eyes though,” he notes, glancing at the pants. “You sure?”

“I might lose some circulation but it’ll be worth it,” Kaizo assured him.

-

They paid for their outfits, Ramen sending in the order for his to be tailored perfectly by the night of the party, and headed out. They roamed the complex for a bit, checking out some stores for accessories. Ramen stopped in front of a jeweller’s.

Kaizo paused before he bumped into him. “What?” he asked, peering around him curiously.

“They sell engagement rings…” Ramen thought aloud, and Kaizo smacked him gently.

“We are not paying five grand for a one-night scheme.”

Ramen paused, as if almost tempted by the prospect, and Kaizo poked him again.

“Don’t get any ideas,” he warned.

Ramen sighed in defeat and allowed himself to be dragged off to another part of the mall.

-

“ _ Claire’s? _ ”

Ramen stood in front of the giant purple signboard, gaping.

Kaizo shrugged beside him. “We just need cheap rings.”

Ramen whipped around. “ _ You’re getting our engagement rings from Claire’s?! _ ”

“It’s not like anyone will tell the difference,” Kaizo pointed out.

“But, but, but,” Ramen spluttered at a loss for words. “It’s  _ Claire’s. _ That’s like getting our suits from  _ Justice! _ ”

Kaizo paused as if considering it as a legitimate prospect and Ramen spluttered in outrage. He grabbed the other’s hand and held it as if pleading for dear life.

“We can’t get our engagement rings from Claire’s.”

“We also can’t get them from People’s Jewellers,” Kaizo frowned. “Your solution?”

Ramen tried desperately for an alternative, but was forced to surrender.

“I...got nothin,” he said sadly.

Kaizo nodded. “So, lets go in?”

-

Claire’s didn’t have a terrible assortment in accessories...if you were twelve years old and looking for friendship bracelets to exchange with classmates you’d never see again after two years. It wasn’t the absolute worst place to look for fake engagement rings either, Ramen was forced to admit silently, after seeing the available stock.

“You haven’t said anything,” Kaizo noted observantly.

“Uh, did you want me to pick them out?”

Kaizo thought on that. “I mean, sure? You’re the mastermind behind the whole operation, really, I just-”

“Follow my lead,” Ramen smirked. “And may I say you’re doing a fine job at staying in character.”

Kaizo had the acting prowess to blush and shy away at that. “ _ Aw _ ...”

“Are you looking for something?” The sales attendant appeared beside them, and Kaizo froze and coughed. “A gift for your...daughter?” She raised an eyebrow.

Kaizo and Ramen exchanged a glance.

“Actually, we…”

“We were…”

“-just wanted to get-”

“-trying to find-”

“-cosplay accessories,” Kaizo explained, at the same time Ramen said “engagement rings.”

They both froze, and the sales attendant stared expectantly.

“Well?”

“Rings,” Ramen said simply, and Kaizo nodded vigorously beside him, facepalming.

“For both of you?” She narrowed her eyes.

Ramen sighed and figured he may as well go all the way.

“Engagement rings, actually, yeah,” he said, discreetly elbowing Kaizo in the stomach to keep quiet. The other winced but complied.

The girl looked skeptical. “I dunno about you, but this isn’t really the place-”

“Oh, no, but I think it is the place,” Ramen countered. “The perfect place. Did you know-” he elbowed Kaizo again to keep him from interrupting, “-that we actually met here at Claire’s.”

He nodded when her eyes widened in surprise. 

“Yeah, so this place,” he patted a nearby display and it leaned precariously, then collapsed, sending items flying out all over the floor. “Ah, shit. Sorry-”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” the attendant was already on the floor, picking up merchandise. “Don’t worry about it,” when Ramen kneeled down to help out.

He ignored her and picked up sets of earrings, putting them back onto their hooks. Kaizo joined them, crouching and straightening to fill up the higher rows.

“I think this one detached from its package,” Ramen held up a single ring that had probably fallen under the display.

“You can keep it,” the attendant offered. “It probably doesn’t have a label, anyway. Plus you didn’t have to help out, so…”

“Really?” Ramen asked, eyes widening.

She nodded gratefully.

“Well, then,” Ramen turned to Kaizo, a grin appearing on his face.

Kaizo swallowed. “What?”

Without warning, Ramen took a knee and stared up at Kaizo from the floor. Kaizo clapped a hand over his mouth, though his mind was only vaguely aware of what was unfolding, a thrilling sense of foreboding ran through him.

“Kaizo Purple Carrots, whatever your real name is, I still don’t know - though it’s definitely not Kassim-”

Kaizo would have burst out laughing if his neurons were not presently short-circuiting.

“- Will you give me the honor of being your fake fiance for like six hours-”

Kaizo really chuckled then, but his eyes were still wide with surprise.

“- though, really, I wish to be yours from this moment on, until that fortuitous night, and after that, forever, will you allow me the privilege of being your best and most loyal, dope, dank and poggers-”

“ _ Oh my god… _ ” Kaizo murmured in disbelief.

“- dudebro for life, homie?”

“No,” Kaizo said flatly, then gaped, weakly smacking his outstretched hand presenting the ring. “No, not like that you idiot,  _ oh my god _ .”

The sales attendant wiped a tear. “That was...I don’t know what I just experienced, actually…”

“ _ Me neither… _ ” Kaizo said dumbly, and Ramen pouted, but brightened as Kaizo let him slide the ring onto his finger.

Kaizo’s blush deepened about six shades, but his face may as well have been red from sheer incredulousness.

Ramen grinned as if proud of his own accomplishment, and stood up smoothly, taking Kaizo’s hand into his own and kissing the back of it from dramatic emphasis. Kaizo snatched it back and used it to hide his flushed face, shaking his head with exasperation, fondness, shock, and denial.

“Are you...okay?” Ramen asked hesitantly, reaching forward.

Kaizo dropped his hands and burst out laughing. He laughed and cackled and wheezed till he was reduced to a shaking mess of strained sounds and gasping on the floor. Ramen grabbed his arm and helped him up, carrying him bridal style until he jumped out of his arms and gripped his own knees for balance till he regained his breath.

“I’ll see you on Thursday evening,” he managed, straightening. “I’ll talk to you on the phone till then.”

He shook his head one more mind as if to clear it, and then he was gone.

Ramen stared after him, almost disappointed, but brightened, checking his phone.

Thursday may be a week away, but Kaizo’s finger had a ring on it today.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forewarning there was a significant timeskip (both in-fic and IRL) between this chapter and last and so the whole mood/tone is. very different this time. so just keep that in mind :p

The afternoon of the 25th rolls around all too quickly. Between phone calls and shopping, one minute he’s dozing off in a cozy new sweater, and the next thing he knows, it’s time to get ready for the Big Night.

So Kaizo slips out of his comfy pajamas and takes a nice warm shower, with the most fragrant shampoo and body wash he has. 

He steps out, glowing, and fixes his hair while he dries off. He slips into his tight pants with some difficulty, though the silky velvet top drops over his head and slides on like flowing water. He shivers slightly at the sensation of the cool fabric against his skin, hoping he’s not going to have to spend much time outside.

He makes his way to his dresser, and observes his reflection for a long moment. He could get away with some light eyeliner…a coat of lip gloss. His cheeks are flushed enough as is from the heat of the bathroom, and that’s not even considering whatever goes on tonight, so he figures he’ll pass on the rest of the makeup bag.

The earrings are long and dangly, and tangle up the moment Kaizo lifts them from their perch. He squints and tries to navigate the fine chains, parting them carefully so they don’t weave into each other instead. Thankfully, they split obediently, and he brings one to his ear to replace the tiny black studs that usually keep his piercings from closing.

His phone rings - a call from Ramen - and he drops a hand to swipe up, putting the phone on speaker as he tries to poke the thin metal rod through his earlobe.

“ _ Hello, sweetheart, _ ” Ramen drawls.

Kaizo almost stabs himself accidentally with the earring.

“ _ Sweetheart _ ?” Kaizo echoes, feeling oddly flustered. “Bit forward there with the pet names, aren’t you,  _ loverboy _ ?”

“Speak for yourself.” The smile is audible in the blond’s voice. “May as well get into our roles, now, shouldn’t we,  _ darling _ ?”

Kaizo inhales and exhales quickly, then forces a syrupy smile. “ _ Babe… _ ”

“ _ Yes, honey? _ ”

“When are you coming, anyway?” Kaizo asks, dropping the sentiment.

“I’m outside.”

Kaizo nearly drops his other earring in shock, whipping back around to check the time.

“You’re here?!” he asks, dumbfounded.

“Answer the door, will you, love?” Ramen goes on in that sappy voice.

Kaizo rushes out of the room, earrings bouncing over his shoulders as he hurries to open the door. Sure enough, his plus-one-for-the-night is waiting for him already, dressed sharply in a dapper suit, hair gelled back precisely.

Ramen takes a knee on the doorstep and extends his hand.

Kaizo blinks at it for a moment in confusion, then thrusts his hand forward in understanding. Ramen takes it and brushes his lips over his knuckles, grinning against the golden ring that Kaizo hasn’t taken off since the Claire’s incident.

Then he releases his hand and straightens, standing up.

“Are you going to let me in?” he asks.

Kaizo manages to un-freeze himself enough to swiftly step aside, allowing him entry. Ramen passes him by, then stops, turning around to take in Kaizo’s form.

Kaizo is hyperaware of Ramen’s eyes raking over him, wary of the slight raise of his eyebrow.

“How is it,” Kaizo asks, a growing smirk hides the trace of hesitation in his voice. “Am I painful to look at yet?”

“I could go blind just staring at you,” Ramen shakes his head. “But it would be a price worth paying just to look at you, my dear.”

Kaizo flushes, then remembers this is all just in character. He shakes his head just slightly to clear it, balling his hands into fists to restrain himself, and gestures to the bedroom.

“I’m almost ready,” he informs him, and to his slight disappointment, Ramen follows him upstairs.

Kaizo can feel his eyes on him even as he stands behind him in the mirror. He deliberately lowers his eyes and scans the jewellery laid out on the dresser. He picks up a bracelet at random and twists it onto his wrist, then another on the opposite. Ramen snatches up a heavy necklace before he can reach for it.

“Need help with this?” Ramen asks, holding it up.

The words catch in Kaizo’s throat, and he nods, turning so Ramen can clasp the necklace behind his neck. He feels the warm brush of Ramen’s fingers against his nape, then the cold metal dropping against his skin, heavy. He remembers to breathe.

Ramen steps back for a moment so Kaizo can turn around to face him, and nods appreciatively at the pendant hanging under his collarbone. Kaizo’s hands reach up to fiddle with Ramen’s tie, even though it barely needs adjustment, and raises his eyes, locking the blond’s gaze - perhaps by accident.

What definitely isn’t accidental is leaning in, just then, closing his eyes and tilting his head as their lips meet gently, then pull away.

“ _ Everything okay, baby? _ ” Ramen whispers. “ _ You’re hesitating. _ ”

He’s right, of course, and Kaizo curses for a moment how  _ well _ Ramen really knows him, but he can’t deny that it’s true.

Instead he ducks in again, wordlessly challenging him with another kiss. This time, he doesn’t hold back, leaving an unmistakable smear of shiny gloss on Ramen’s slightly parted lips. They break away for only a moment to catch their breath, then pull in again, memorizing one another’s lips for the only chance they have.

“That’s enough,” Kaizo says, finally pulling away, though there’s a faintly giddy smile on his face. “We’re going to be late.”

Ramen nods, catching his breath, and wipes over his lips with the back of his hand. Kaizo straightens out his shirt, pointedly looking anywhere but Ramen’s face, or his body, and fidgets with his bracelet while the other checks his face in the mirror for traces of lip gloss.

“Should we get going, then?” Kaizo asks hesitantly, then adds. “Babe.”

“After you, my dearest beloved,” Ramen waves a hand, all but sinking into a bow.

Theatrics come so maddeningly easy to the blond, Kaizo curses the unfairness of the situation. Ramen is going to play him like a fiddle, doing all sorts of things with Kaizo’s stupid deepest darkest feelings, and he’s going to hopelessly fall for it because of his stupid deepest darkest feelings.

The injustice is cruel, but for just tonight, he can pretend it’s not. Just to enjoy it, while he can.

Then he’ll never talk to the blond again, he decides, following Ramen out the door.

-

The venue of the party is a hall, minimalistic but still cozy.

A careful arrangement of Christmas trees, wreaths, fairy lights, and poinsettias keep the wintry gloom at bay, though there’s just few enough of them to not feel cluttered or crowded as the guests wander around.

The doorman takes their coats as they enter, promptly disappearing with them, and Kaizo wraps his arms around himself, feeling suddenly chilly.

It is then that the target of their mission appears, rather unfortunately, stopping dead in his tracks as he catches sight of their arrival. The appetizer in his hand freezes in mid-air, just before his mouth. He promptly drops his hand to his side.

“ _ Kassim… _ ” he trails off, clearly surprised, as his eyes slide from Kaizo to Kaizo’s plus-one.

Ramen clears his throat.

“Pardon?” he asks, feigning confusion as he glances from Kaizo’s ex to Kaizo himself.

“This is my fiance,” Kaizo explains weakly, curling in on himself from the awkwardness. “Ramen…”

He gestures to the blond, but his hand falters, and he wonders if he should introduce the other to his ‘fiance’.

“Patrick,” his ex says simply, cold as ice.

Ramen snakes an arm around Kaizo’s waist and pulls him closer, and Kaizo briefly stiffens in surprise, then hesitation, as he finds himself closer to the blond than he has ever been before.

“You know Kaizo, then?” Ramen asks, though Kaizo wishes he wouldn’t - the situation is tense enough as is.

Patrick raises an eyebrow. “I suppose you could put it that way…”

Kaizo dares to lock his gaze until he finally gives in and looks away.

“Wonderful party,” Ramen flashes a tight smile. “Have you been enjoying yourself?”

“Is that dinner?” Patrick says quickly, gesturing to the tables.

Guests are filling up seats marked by name cards, while waiters duck into the kitchen and return with heaping platters of food. Ramen and Kaizo find their own places, sitting down, and after a few minutes of searching, Patrick unhappily sits down across from them.

Well, isn’t this... _ fortuitous… _

Patrick looks intensely uncomfortable, but he also does not appear to possess the nerve to ask for a seating change, so he settles into his place for the meal. Kaizo pointedly stares at the door to the kitchen, watching server after server attend to other tables, waiting for the one that arrives at their own.

“How long have you known each other,” Patrick asks suddenly, breaking the silence.

Kaizo feels no particular urge to answer, relieved that Ramen will be doing all the answering (read: bullshitting) tonight.

“We met in high school,” Ramen says, which isn’t untrue. “We ran into each other again about a year ago, and, what can I say, we just hit it off?”

Kaizo remains silent, knowing full well that ‘about a year ago’ he was still dating Patrick. He wonders what that changes of his impression in the other’s mind. Not that he cares much…

“And you’re engaged?” Patrick presses, a trace of condescension in his words.

Ramen nods, and Kaizo plasters on a maudlin smile, shifting so he’s closer to the other, and nudges their touching elbows. Patrick looks like he might be sick, but hides it well. He leans forward in his seat, feigning fascination.

“One year,” he repeats. “You must be quite certain of yourselves, then?”

Ramen laughs, throwing his arms up in a shrug. “What can I say, soulmates, am I right?”

Patrick’s smile vanishes, and he leans back in his seat, a storm flashing over his face. Kaizo takes a long sip from his glass, both to avoid adding to the conversation and hide his flusteredness at ‘soulmates’.

_ Stupid deepest darkest feelings… _

The waiter finally comes to their rescue, three arriving at their table with a platter in either hand. Kaizo grabs a helping of salad while Ramen unfolds his napkin and reaches to cut a slab of roast. Patrick pours himself soup, cursing when he spills a drop on the tablecloth.

“Oh, shoot, you need a napkin?” Ramen asks immediately.

Patrick flashes him a dirty look. “I’ll get it.”

He stands up and disappears, leaving Kaizo and Ramen to the table themselves.

When he returns, it’s with another forced smile. Kaizo wonders who’s doing more acting at the table tonight - Ramen’s theatrics are spectacular but Patrick is testing the limits of his own patience to a commendable extent.

“Did you bring someone, then?” it’s Ramen’s turn to interrogate.

Patrick flushes, and his eyes dart to Kaizo for only a moment.

“I’m not seeing anyone at the moment,” he explains quietly.

Kaizo is not unaware of the entirely plausible possibility that Patrick has really been waiting for him all this time. A truly unfortunate wake-up call for him, then. He takes a sip from his glass to avoid talking.

Ramen’s face falls in pity. “Aw, I’m sure you’ll find someone…”

“I’m quite happily single, thank you,” Patrick flashes a quick smile.

_ An Oscar for you, and an Oscar for you, and maybe a nomination for me, _ Kaizo thinks, taking a sip from his glass.

-

Dinner seems to stretch on indefinitely, as Kaizo piles food onto his plate and watches it disappear, the waistband of his pants growing tighter around his midriff. He excuses himself to use the washroom, then returns to fill his stomach with more food and drink.

He hasn’t eaten this much in, ever, but it’s easier to grin and giggle and beam adoringly in Ramen’s direction every ten minutes or so, than dare have his mouth or hands empty, lest they take it as invitation for conversation.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t speak at all. Rather, Patrick seems almost eager for him to say something, hear what  _ he _ has to say from his side of the story, and Kaizo supposes he may as well entertain him.

“Is the wedding soon, then?” Patrick asks, possibly not intending to be as nosy as he comes across out of desperation.

This time, Kaizo interrupts before Ramen can answer that one.

“ _ Very soon, _ I hope,” he says, pumping it with as much emotion as he can manifest, and turning to gaze lovingly at Ramen. “ _ We’ll be bonded forever, won’t we, babe? _ ”

It’s the most absolutely un-Kaizo thing to say, and Patrick is clearly caught off-guard, because he looks legitimately unsettled, and Kaizo resists the urge to laugh in his face.

“ _ Of course, honey-bunny, _ ” Ramen leans forward, brushing his nose very slightly against Kaizo’s, and Kaizo giggles softly.

Patrick does not appear to desire Kaizo’s further input on anything.

-

The sumptuous meal is followed by an exquisite dessert of fruitcakes and chocolate fondue. Ramen ignores Patrick’s hesitant hand as he spears chunks of fruit and coats them in chocolate, then presents them in front of Kaizo’s mouth, who accepts wholeheartedly. The tension in the air evaporates with every sip of wine, and by the time the tables are cleared of food altogether, Kaizo’s ex seems to be the furthest of their concerns.

They pour themselves another glass of champagne and Ramen finds himself sitting on a plush sofa, just big enough for two people to sit comfortably. Kaizo plops down next to him, carelessly dangling his glass in one hand.

Ramen, casually observing the rest of the party with mild interest, does not notice Kaizo shifting on the sofa beside him, till he’s practically sitting in his lap, a hand wrapped around his arm, holding him close.

“ _ What are you looking at, baby, _ ” Kaizo murmurs, leaning his head against Ramen’s shoulder.

Ramen stiffens just slightly, startled. Patrick is nowhere in sight, so there’s no reason to be putting up a scene. Either Kaizo is really into his role, or he’s buzzed, and Ramen knows Kaizo is a terrible actor.

“It’s a nice party,” Ramen nods, reaching around to brush a lock of hair out of Kaizo’s face.

Kaizo leans closer, and his hair tickles Ramen’s jaw, though Ramen doesn’t pull away as he wraps his arm around him, resting a hand on his back, almost an embrace. He takes a sip from his glass and they watch on as couples take to the floor, revolving slowly in time to the music.

“ _ Babyyy, _ ” Kaizo drawls, dragging out every syllable.

He points to the room weakly with his empty glass.

“ _ Let’s dance. _ ”

“You want to dance?” Ramen asks, barely believing his ears, and Kaizo pouts at the hesitance in his voice.

Ramen quickly re-adjusts his expression.  _ “Well who am I to deny my dearest beloved a dance?” _

Kaizo positively glows.

Getting up from the couch is a rather clumsy affair, as Kaizo nearly topples over so Ramen can get up, but they manage, and Ramen offers a hand to help Kaizo to his feet. Kaizo stumbles, and Ramen catches him before he crashes into his chest. Kaizo giggles softly, ducking his face into the crisp dress shirt, before Ramen takes his hands, keeping his balance.

They rearrange their hands, and Kaizo trips a bit as Ramen leads them back and away from the sofa, but Ramen keeps a firm hold on him, and they make their way, gliding across the floor. No one turns to look at them, the others preoccupied with their own activities, but Ramen watches them anyway. Kaizo’s head is lowered, so Ramen can’t see his expression, but he follows every movement with little hesitation, so it’s barely awkward.

There’s a corner in the room, almost hidden from view by a Christmas tree, though there’s enough space to move around behind it. Kaizo raises his head, lifting his eyes to the ceiling, and Ramen doesn’t follow his gaze, but rather fixates on his flushed cheeks, the slight shine in his eyes, the unrestrained smile.

“ _ Mistletoe… _ ” Kaizo whispers, grin widening, and Ramen pauses, glancing up to see what he’s looking at.

Sure enough, a sprig of mistletoe is nested under the rafters, just low enough to go unnoticed by the rest of the room. Ramen swallows, knowing full well that no one else is around, that they don’t have to put on a show for anyone, that this is just trivial Christmas custom, nothing more…

But as they lean in, he doesn’t expect Kaizo to kiss him deeply, lips slightly parted against his own mouth, and this time he’s the one holding back, if only out of surprise. Kaizo doesn’t pull away, though, and Ramen turns his head and gently eases his own mouth open against his, almost overtaken by the heavy alcohol on his breath.

But in a moment he’s used to it, and then he’s lost himself in his mouth, the room blurring to nothing between him and Kaizo except hasty gasps for air before they close the gap again.

When they finally break apart, Kaizo simply stares at him, eyes slightly unfocussed, mouth dropped open, spectacularly flushed.

“ _ You’re so gorgeous, _ ” is all he whispers, raising a hand to trace at Ramen’s chest.

Ramen swallows thickly. “You’re drunk, Kaizo. Let’s go home.”

Kaizo doesn’t put up a fight as Ramen hurries by and retrieves their coats from the doorman. Kaizo takes his and fumbles into it, following Ramen out the door while stumbling over his shoes.

He’s shivering in the time it takes for a taxi to pull up next to the curb, and Ramen glances at his shoes that were most certainly not made for cold weather, his legs pressed together to conserve body heat. His face is still a brilliant red.

Ramen wraps his arms around him while the driver navigates to Kaizo’s address, holding him close, and Kaizo’s shivers ease slightly. He snuggles into Ramen’s arms, leaning his head against his shoulder, and Ramen shivers just once, though he isn’t sure if it’s from the cold.

Then the taxi stops in front of his house, and it’s all over too quickly.

Ramen opens the door, and a cold draft rushes in, chilling them down to the bone. Kaizo awkwardly steps outside, pausing, as if confused, and Ramen waits, till he turns around.

“You’re leaving me?”

“It’s your house…” Ramen explains.

Kaizo looks distraught. 

“Don’t leave me alone,” he pleads, eyes wide and shining.

Ramen hesitates. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Kaizo pauses a moment, then nods. Ramen steps out of the taxi, waving goodbye to the driver who is visibly annoyed at their wasting time while letting the cold in. The car speeds off, and they shuffle through the light snow to the door. Kaizo fumbles for the key, so Ramen pats him down and locates it, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

Kaizo staggers inside, his shoes leaving wet puddles on the floor, and Ramen kicks his own shoes off, moving to help him not fall down on the way to the bedroom. The entrance is remarkably warmer than outside, and their coats are cast aside on the way to the bedroom.

Kaizo flops onto his bed the moment he’s in reach of it. Ramen walks in after him, flicking on a light, and Kaizo lays motionless for a few long moments, possibly having fallen asleep. He startles, though, and sits up, kicking his legs over the side of the bed and attempting to wrestle off his pants.

Ramen stops in his tracks as Kaizo yanks off the tight clothing, stiff and form-fitted, it was not made be taken off by someone half-wasted and compromised of coordination. Ramen can only watch reluctantly while Kaizo struggles out of it, finally standing up, holding a bedpost for balance, and letting the article fall to his feet.

The tailored suit and tie suddenly feel uncomfortably tight, and Ramen’s fingers reach up of their own accord to fidget with his tie, finally pulling it free and dropping it to the carpet. It’s too hot in here, he thinks, with the last remains of his sobriety, and his jacket slips off his shoulders and pools in a pitiful lump on the floor.

Kaizo is walking towards him, now, and Ramen’s fingers are furiously unbuttoning his own shirt, as Kaizo gently takes hold of his arm and leads him back to the bed. Kaizo sets himself down onto it, the deep neck of his shirt gathering to one side, leaving the rest exposed. Ramen hesitantly sits down next to him, though his eyes are unashamedly taking him in. Kaizo rearranges himself, and the next thing Ramen knows, his legs are wrapped around his waist, snugly holding him in place.

The last traces of sobriety evaporate the moment their lips crash together.

Ramen’s fingers grip Kaizo’s hot milky thighs, fingernails digging into soft skin. He can say with absolute certainty that no one else has seen Kaizo like this, been touched by Kaizo like this, with his fingers tangled in blond hair, copious amounts of hair gel yielding to passionate grasp.

He’s kissing aimlessly, desperately, Kaizo’s mouth, lips, face, jaw, as Kaizo’s hand drops down to trace his exposed back. His hands trail over his skin like fire, every touch burning, leaving behind only the ashes of want. Ramen’s own hands release Kaizo’s thighs and crawl up under his shirt, exploring uncharted territory, and Kaizo doesn’t once protest, or hesitate - if anything, his fingers tighten in his hair and he sighs, tilting his head to capture Ramen’s lips again.

Then he’s leaning back, shifting away, and Ramen’s hands withdraw from his body to fumble with his own belt buckle, impatiently wrenching it apart, then shifting his legs to kick off the troublesome pants. He moves back and attacks Kaizo’s mouth, pushing him back to the bed and kissing him hungrily. Kaizo, with some difficulty, shifts them so they’re lying side-by-side, legs tangled together as they lose themselves in each other’s mouths.

Ramen finally pulls back, forcing himself up, to see Kaizo staring up at him, panting. His face is flushed and wet with sweat and saliva, eyes closed, a vague grin on his lips. Ramen wants him, and he knows Kaizo wants him too, and every fibre of Ramen’s being is urging him to go forward, but a single thread of reason holds him back.

He can’t do this...not like this. Not as much as Kaizo grabs at him, pulling him back down to the bed, craving for more, Ramen can’t bring himself to take advantage of him while they’re both wasted out of their minds.

With some unwillingness, Ramen shifts off the bed. Immediately Kaizo reaches out, beckoning his return, but Ramen shuffles to the door, snapping off the light switch.

There’s a low whine from the bed and Ramen chuckles in spite of himself, dragging his feet back to the bed and collapsing into it, somehow avoiding crashing into Kaizo’s limbs. Kaizo’s arms find their way around him automatically, and Ramen kisses him again, gently.

“ _ Goodnight, sweetheart, _ ” he murmurs, holding him close.

Kaizo snuggles against him, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
